Wednesday, May 12, 2004
How Bessica Got Her Braids Back
I was going to write about how amused my former roommate would be if he found out that I was using one of the hair products he gave me as a finishing polish for my corn rows. He is, after all, the type who would probably prefer that I use his products in conjunction with getting up at 5 in the morning each day to make myself look like Jennifer Aniston. Won't it be funny, I thought, when I tell him that all of my hair has been done up into tiny little crazy braids, that it's totally out of control & wildly unruly, that if someone were to approach it with a straightening iron, it would recoil in folicular terror, shooting a wiry split end out in defense! Won't he himself recoil in fashionista terror when he's made aware that I've wasted a $15 product on transforming my whitegirl blonde locks into African-American tribal funk!
But then I visited the Redken web site, only to find out that the Smooth Out™ product line is, in fact, geared toward "women of color"! He must have known it all along, but having born witness to my uncharacteristically frizzy hair all these years, he decided to trick me into using the stuff, anyway! Looks like the joke's on me.
Either way, what I'm really here to talk to you about is boys who braid. If you're a girl and you've ever had a boy braid your hair, I think you know where I'm going with this. Quite frankly, it's heartbreakingly adorable -- especially when the boy has "just learned" how to braid, has caught on rather more quickly than he'd anticipated, and is therefore in awe of his own masterful ability at practicing something he'd always thought required actual skill. And it's especially cute when the boy thinks that with every slight tug of the hair he's hurting you, and vows up and down to go about it more gently thenceforward. I'm telling you it's downright tearfully, agonizingly adorable.
Now multiply that by about four hours, and what do you get? I'll tell you: a boy who's swiveling around on your new Ikea chair, delicately decking you out from behind in row after row of tiny little braids whilst a mix -- a mix that he made for the purpose of listening to whilst braiding your hair -- plays in the background, and you're silently translating M.C. Solaar lyrics, sipping iced coffee, and occasionally puffing on a cigarette while the sun goes down over the Hudson and motorcycles are faintly heard whirring over the bridge to Jersey in all the evening's mild-aired spring glory.
I'm sorry, what's that? Pardon? You mean to say that you want to know about the actual product, since this is supposed to be a blog that reviews cosmetics and not a reenactment of the reviewer's personal life? Well, okay then. I'd say that Redken's Smooth Out™, works quite well as a morning-after finishing/shining balm, but I'd only recommend using it if the boy isn't around the next day to touch up the job himself.
And this boy was.
But then I visited the Redken web site, only to find out that the Smooth Out™ product line is, in fact, geared toward "women of color"! He must have known it all along, but having born witness to my uncharacteristically frizzy hair all these years, he decided to trick me into using the stuff, anyway! Looks like the joke's on me.
Either way, what I'm really here to talk to you about is boys who braid. If you're a girl and you've ever had a boy braid your hair, I think you know where I'm going with this. Quite frankly, it's heartbreakingly adorable -- especially when the boy has "just learned" how to braid, has caught on rather more quickly than he'd anticipated, and is therefore in awe of his own masterful ability at practicing something he'd always thought required actual skill. And it's especially cute when the boy thinks that with every slight tug of the hair he's hurting you, and vows up and down to go about it more gently thenceforward. I'm telling you it's downright tearfully, agonizingly adorable.
Now multiply that by about four hours, and what do you get? I'll tell you: a boy who's swiveling around on your new Ikea chair, delicately decking you out from behind in row after row of tiny little braids whilst a mix -- a mix that he made for the purpose of listening to whilst braiding your hair -- plays in the background, and you're silently translating M.C. Solaar lyrics, sipping iced coffee, and occasionally puffing on a cigarette while the sun goes down over the Hudson and motorcycles are faintly heard whirring over the bridge to Jersey in all the evening's mild-aired spring glory.
I'm sorry, what's that? Pardon? You mean to say that you want to know about the actual product, since this is supposed to be a blog that reviews cosmetics and not a reenactment of the reviewer's personal life? Well, okay then. I'd say that Redken's Smooth Out™, works quite well as a morning-after finishing/shining balm, but I'd only recommend using it if the boy isn't around the next day to touch up the job himself.
And this boy was.
