cosmeticslog

Recently I came across a how-to on recreating Sarah Jessica Parker's hairstyle. "You might not think it's possible," read the article, written by some stylist to the stars, "but you can have SJP's look! Honest!" It then went into a step-by-step process, consisting of sectioning off your towel-dried locks and "folding" them, "accordion"-style, atop your head, after, of course, having applied 92 different "setting" lotions. After using a blowdryer set high on heat, low on air, you're free to undo the sections and apply 92 different types of $40 sold-only-in-apothecary-shoppes "holding balm".

In all fairness, perhaps this method does work, and if you follow these instructions, Aidan and Big and a whole slew of other strapping studmuffins will appear on your doorstep come morning, but I think I have a simpler and cheaper way to achieve SJP's look:

1. Wash your hair.
2. Towel-dry it.
3. Don't put anything whatsoever in it.
4. Go!

Um, hi! Sarah Jessica Parker's hair is totally unkempt, frizzy, and unmanageable, thanks! If this is the look you're going for, I invite you to spend an evening at my apartment, and I will show you exactly how to get your hair to look totally unkempt, frizzy, and unmanageable. It's really not that difficult. Trust me. No accordions necessary.

If, however, you're really a "product" kind of gal, and you'd prefer combing some type of potion through your hair that will enable it to spring wildly from your head, frizz out in every possible direction, and develop a completely independent mind of its own by the time you've arrived at the office, I highly recommend the new "Smoothing Milk" by Fructis, which is supposed to smoothe your hair, but, in reality -- based on a lovely experience of mine just last week, in which my hair did all but grow tentacles with which to poke at random passersby on the street -- does exactly the opposite of smoothing.

And what shall we call the "opposite of smoothing"?

Oh, I'm sorry -- I believe it already has a name:

SJP-ing.